Happy Days :)

Today was a good day! Well... mostly good! There was one sucky part where my guy and I were talking in the band practice room and people kept closing the doors on us so we could "be alone in private". What did they think we were going to do? We don't even hold hands at school haha. I was trying to open it but they were holding it closed. Anyways, our band teacher opens the doors and yells an us two for being alone with the door closed. So I just told him I was trying to opn the doors so technically he had no right to be mad at me. Then I walked out of the room. I think I am officially on his bad side now... Oh well! The whole thing was embarassing and I was offeneded at the jokes people were making. I didn't even understand half of the jokes... But that doesn't matter, school is out tomorrow and then I won't have to worry about people making dumb jokes. I am so excited for summer to start! Warm weather, the sun, being able to walk to all of my friend's houses. Everything about summer is going to be amazing!! Tomorrow is our crossover assembly, where we move into the junior section of the bleachers. I plan on staying up late tonight, happily dragging myself out of bed tomorrow morning, then going to get a mocha, not decaff. (what a rebel right?) Then after school, a bunch of us are going to hang out and partay!!! jk, we're just going to chill :) So excited for things to start! I am also super excited for the fair this summer!!! Just thinking about looking at everything, walking around in the sun with all of my friends. Then when it gets dark we can go up on the ferris wheel. My guy would be there :) haha sorry about the random moment there. Anywayyyyys. I have to get to bed. But yay for random good moods :) Here is my goal for the next few weeks; be less of a chicken. Take some risks. Don't be afraid to sing and dance infront of other people. Try new things, maybe learn a new song on the piano, or a few notes on guitar. I'm pretty optimistic about achieving this goal of mine. Can't wait to get started :) Ta ta for now everyone :) Enjoy the last day of school, and if I don't talk to you until next year, have a great, safe, and unbelievably amazing summer :) Keep those glasses half full :)

Stay Strong

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”
     I found this quote by August Wilson and I love it. It seems perfect for moments that I feel down. Forgiveness is key in moving forward in life. And ultimatly, without it we wouldn't get anywhere. But, sometimes forgiveness is really hard to do. It's hard to forgive someone when they keep hurting you . We have to though, and I try even though it's hard. I just have to keep trying... And I feel bad for letting things get to me but I can't always ignore it. The only thing that helps is knowing that there is a future for me that I can control, where I get to chose what effects me. I am just so glad that I have such amazing friends and such a caring boyfriend. I can always count on them to be there for me when I need them, and even if I think I don't need them, they are always there for me. And that means the world to me. Thank you :)

5... more...days...

     There are only five more days left in my sophomore year in high school. That's a scary thought! I honestly don't want this year to end. I mean, I want the hoework to go away but I don't want to have to leave my friends. I am so used to seeing them everyday that I am nervous about losing touch over the summer. Another thing that makes me nervous is this... my two best firneds and my boyfriend are both in wind ensamble and I am in symphonic band. Band is the only class that I have with them, what if next year I don't have any? I mean I can't do anything about it, it just is something that's been floating around my head lately. The good thing is though, when I move I will be a lot closer to them. That's one of the upsides to having to move.
     Ok, I'm done with that tangent, just had to get it out :) Now about the fun stuff! Last night was date night with the "group" and we went down to Edmonds to see an art fair. It was actually pretty cool! There was this one welder who made water fountians out of saxaphones! Coolest thing ever :) My guy and I held hannds the whole time, and when we got tired of walking around we found the music stage and listened to some middle aged guys singing in spanish! Fun stuff right there! We ended up getting into a really serious conversation, that is, until my friend came up from behind and scared the crap out of me! :) It was actually pretty funny. Then we left, back to my house for pizza and a movie. On the way back we listened to The Black Eyed Peas, Let's Get Retarded. Yup, the original :P Anyways, the guys were going crazy, singing and car dancing. It was actually kind of frightening :P In a good way? Let's just say you had to be there. When we got home, the guys okayed guitar while the pizza cooked. We ate then watched the movie Date Night. Super funny movie! The night was filled with laughs and at one point a few kisses, on the cheek ;) And an I love you here and there :) Great night!
     Anyways, I'd better go :) I'll keep you posted :)

Tip Toes :)

A perfect end to a not to great school day today. After disecting a squid and watching the most depressing WW2 video ever, I was not in the best mood. But as usual, my guy was able to cheer me up :) We always meet up in the band room after school and usually hug before he leaves for the bus. Today though, it was kinda different. In a good way :) not really anyone was in there so we were holding hands which we normally never do at school, it may seem weird but it's what we do. Anyways, he was joking around about picking me up and I laughed it off but when we were holding hands I realized the time and I told him that I had to go before I got in trouble for being late. So when I went to hug him I stood up on my tiptoes and hugged him around the shoulders which I'd never done before. Well, he picked me up and spun me around. Perfect movie moment. :) I love tiptoe hugs :) It just put me in a gernal good mood :) But enough about him, I could go on and on but I won't. Besides that, today was actually not that great. I'm still somewhat upset that my friend won't talk to me... It's one of those things where I don't really know what I did but I wish that things would be back to normal. I tried to say hi,and text her but... nothing. I will just keep trying I guess. My family got in a hue fight, this time between my brother and my parents. Hopefully things will clear up soon. Speaking of clearing up, I really want these clouds to get out of here for a while. It's June for crying out loud! Will someone alert the sun and tell it to stop hiding out and that I miss it? That'd be awesome, thanks :)
     Lately I have been in a singing mood but I have no idea what to sing. Actually, I take that back, I can sing whatever. The problem is that I really want to play the piano and sing something along with that. However, I know how to read music, where the notes are, and how to play music. (Band for five years does that for ya) But, I can't find anything that's easy enough for me to play. I can play flute and find notes on the piano but I need a song that's simple enough to play that I can catch on fast and then sing it too! :) If only if only right? We can't always get everything we want. Although, if anyone is reading this, and you know a piano song that's easy to play and has some good words with it, let me know :)
     I'd better go though, I hope that you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the fact that it's at least not pouring down rain :) Remember, glass half full :)
     Talk to you all later :)

The countdown begins :)

     With only two weeks of school left, everyone is getting more than a little excited for summer. With all the drab weather we have been having, I would like a bit of summer sun myself. I'm realizing now that though the school year is winding down, the work load isn't. Homework is my enemy at the moment, specifically that of Honors English. But I have other things to focus on besides that. Like my parent's divorce which is now finalized. Not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing but at least things are getting somewhere right? We have a moving date, my mom, brother and I are moving close to school. The new place is cute and better than what I was excpeting so at least there is a bit of a bright side to this whole situation. What's really keeping me from focusing on the negative though is my guy. He's great and has a way of taking my mind off of all the stressful things that have become my life. I'm actually planning to go out with him and another couple this weekend. :) Another positive is yearbooks, if we ever actually get them. Yearbook class made all the deadlines but production got held up in Dallas so the books are now two... wait three, days late. Either way I am excited to see what they turn out to look like.
     I would say that I don't have much else to write about but that would be a lie. The real trouble is knowing where to start. School is mainly what I focus on right now, I get my stories from whatever happens that day. Like today for example, I made this Dutch pastry for History class called "Oliebollen". It tasted pretty good to my great surprise. I'll bring in a batch on Friday and we'll see if my history teacher agrees. Hopefully he will, if not then my grade, and all the dessert leftovers, will be in the garbage.
     Anyways, I am determined not to fill this page up with dreadful details about my school life. Let's talk about the idea of the future :) Right now, even though I have no clue as to which direction I'm headed, I am excited for the future. A promise of something new, new potential, new people, new stories. In my head I have many futures, the future of tomorrow, where I'll focus in school, my friend won't be mad at me anymore, and I'll be better at flute. Then there's the future of the distant future. That one might be a bit scary. I know that I would love to be a professional photographer, a writer, maybe an English teacher, or something to do with music. No, I take that back, anything to do with music would be amazing. Unfortunatly, photography and music are no the best fields of work to head into. But a girl can dream right?
     Then there's always the aspect of now. Forget the future for a second and focus on today. YOLO right? Well, being the sheltered child that I am, the riskiest thing I've done lately is skipped a question on my math homework. Sometimes I wish that I was less of a chicken. Especially in the matter of say, when you really want to say something personal but chicken out. I know exactly how that feels. I just keeo thinking how easy it is to not hesitate. But then again I'm not really the kind of person to make hastey decisions. Some poeple say that's a good thing, I'm going to listen to them.
     Speaking of listening, let's get back onto the topic of music :) I have had two songs stuck in my head for the past few days and I might go crazy if they stay stuck in there much longer. "The Future Freaks Me Out" and "Banana Panckaes" to be more specific. Both awesome songs but both very catchy. I would go around singing them but I have recently had a phone conversation clarifying the fact that I don't sing in front of people. I can sing alone but I tend to get a bit of... not stage fright, but something similar when people want to hear me sing. So too bad for them, but they'll have to wait :) All of that is besides the point though. If there is a point here... It seems like I have just been rambling on and on. If anyone is reading this, I apologize for such random tangents on my daily, average life. However, if you are reading this, thank you :) I love having people read what I write! Hope you enjoyed, more later :)

~Color Me Crayons :)